QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Without Ego, How Can I Feel Good About Myself?

B"H


Cheshvan 16, 5773 * November 1, 2012

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Q U E S T I O N O F T H E W E E K
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Without Ego, How Can I Feel Good About Myself?
By Avi Davis
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Dear Rabbi,

I have a problem. It's my ego.

I have been duly chiding myself and ever reminding myself that my accomplishments are only possible by G‑d's good grace, so I should not feel any more accomplished than the guy next door.

But then I start wondering: am I never allowed to feel good about myself? How can you accomplish anything in this world if you never take credit for anything you do?

Answer:

You are not alone in this struggle. This balance between letting go of ego and maintaining a healthy sense of self-confidence is an issue for all of us, simply because we are human.

We have G‑d given talents for a reason: So we can refine them, develop them and use them in our daily lives to serve our Maker. G‑d gives us the tools, but utilizing them to their full potential is up to us.

So we should be thankful and happy that G‑d has given us our unique talents, for it means that He thinks we can develop them and do good things with them. He believes in us. And as we develop an understanding about G‑d and who He is, we can deepen our appreciation for His belief in us.

G‑d's belief in us is even more apparent when we look at our weaknesses, for that's where the real challenge lies. G‑d gave us these major challenges because He knows we have the ability to overcome them and succeed. Contemplating this fact will certainly result in a happy and self-confident attitude about oneself.

As for what we've accomplished with those talents He's given us: It's true, if you never feel a sense of accomplishment, you'll find it pretty hard to keep moving forward. So take some pride in the accomplishments that have brought you where you are today.

But, as our sages say [ http://link.Chabad.org/go.asp?li=FB2464814C52C06EE81DEB6ED3B0126A&ui=F8C16ABBBCDB72AD0024EE2F647D78D2 ], "If today you reached 100, tomorrow you must reach for 200."

See How to Be Humble Without Being a Wimp [ http://link.Chabad.org/go.asp?li=D8590DA20C9F204B1900C10E13C6F4B4&ui=F8C16ABBBCDB72AD0024EE2F647D78D2 ] from our selection on Judaism and Self-Confidence [ http://link.Chabad.org/go.asp?li=90DD4017768D16F76B4BB8C743CEC00F&ui=F8C16ABBBCDB72AD0024EE2F647D78D2 kid= ].


- Rabbi Avi Davis MSW, RSW, holds a Masters of Social Work, a Bachelor of Social Work and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. He lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.


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